RELATIONSHIP

2006-11-11T11:14:00.000-08:00

The Battle of the Sexes! – By Joseph Ghabi

by: Joseph Ghabi

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I’ve dealt with during in some of my private consultations. What am I talking about? I guess it is about time to state my intention!

We sometimes move from relationship one to another, asking ourselves why we keep attracting experiences with similar characteristics to those we have experienced previously. A male projects his masculine vibration and brings qualities of independence, self-confidence, assurance, security, Ego and pride (negative side and not the best quality!), into the relationship. A female projects a warmer side to that of the male bringing intuition, love, firstly, towards herself before sharing that with her partner, sensation, and her sexuality.

Always we find a lack of self-confidence and trust existing in many women (a negative side that should be worked upon).

Those are typical characteristics that both sexes should portray to an extent in their relationship identifying their individual sexuality. And always keep in mind, no-one is perfect!

In order for a male to grow in a more desirable way being balance and in harmony, he should open up his female side, though in such a way as not to allow it to take place of his role in being a man, but in order to open up his intuition and encourage the balance between his male and female vibrations.

A female, on the contrary, should open up her male side in order to build up her self-confidence and trust in herself. Thus, bringing her the quality of leadership and balancing both sides of her vibration.

In today’s world, a woman’s place is shifting from that of being a housewife into being at the top in the corporate world. That is a positive change and it is about time too! However, not at the expense of allowing her male vibration to take place over her female vibration. Think about it!

During the 1900’s we had a hundred years governed by a male vibration where men were in control ({19} 00 = 19 = 10 = 1). Since the year 2000 the vibration is changing into that of a female vibration which will be in effect for the next hundred years ({20} 00 = 20 = 2).

The 1 is a male vibration and 2 is a female vibration. A change of attitude in the way we consider a woman being in top job positions did start to take place over approximately twenty years ago. This begun when the energies started to shift. The new century brought preparation for the new female vibration. So my point is that women should not be or acting as if they are male in order to prove a point. It is far more appropriate for women to simply be themselves and they will be fine with that whilst the universal energies are in their favour.

Another contributing factor which many women are likely to have encountered upon in their lives is where negative experiences or relationships as an adult or a young woman in her past encourage them develop a strong male vibration into their energy. The woman may not even be aware of this fact, but it is a natural instinct in order to help her survive the difficult experiences in her life. Bringing this male as a means of survival is acceptable, however, it is critical that women learn where to draw the limit and realise the consequences of having too much male energy is likely to bring.

In both cases, it is not helpful for either sex to have a male vibration to over power the female side when you are supposed to be a woman. As is the case for any male, it is not appropriate to have the female vibration overpowering his masculine side. The most important key to learn and understand is balance!

Now let’s imagine ourselves in a situation where even if the man in your relationship is not sensitive towards detecting energies around him, but un-consciously he will be able to detect that male vibration in his partner. That in any case will bring a power struggle on its own behalf. In homosexual relationships, it is common to see one of the partners playing role of the male or the female. That is, by all means okay.

However, when we are in a heterosexual relationship and being well defined opposites then it is likely to become an indirect problem that many of us who are involved in a relationship are not able to detect any imbalance of energies between the male and the female. Thus, allowing it to grow until it can eventually hurt the relationship. As I did mention previously, the importance lies in maintaining a balance.

I would like to mention the importance for a woman to really build her male side in order to build her self confidence, self trust and the gutsy feeling that will enable her to bring the drive she needs to move and do what she wants to do in this lifetime. Though, not as a means of becoming an equally assertive male in the relationship! I do not believe for a moment that women are born in this lifetime in order to have babies and sit at home as housewives! Though some women do accept this and enjoy this lifestyle, they do have responsibility in bringing handling the necessary experiences in order to promote their growth at a soul level. The amount of growth a soul will achieve can also be determined under what society, culture and religion the woman is born into.

In reality in many relationships today, many men are abusing their power by taping into their partner weaknesses where there is a lack of self-confidence and trust in the woman to achieve what they want in their own reality. This case stands true for many females who might also be abusing the male in the relationship and this cannot be disregarded in any case.

Relationships with characteristics such as these will drive the relationship into a dead end zone where that relationship is, of course, doomed to fail. The reason being, the time will come to say enough is enough when nothing is moving or changing in that relationship. Being in love with someone is one thing but becoming a doormat is something else. I believe many of you will be able to identify with what I am taking about.

Now let’s be honest and see if we can identify if your male or female side is strong in you. Please remember, this does not imply that every woman and man will have this problem. If you are still reading this far in the article you might ask yourself the question how do we go about identifying if this is a problem for us? The most difficult part is admitting and accepting the foundation of the problem, but after this how do we handle it?

First let’s start in identifying the problem. In some women, it is obvious through her walk, her way of talking, her attitude and ego. Sometimes these traits are not so obvious and in this case she needs to go deeper, looking into her attitude in certain cases, her sexual preferences (are they male preferences?), and her ways in handling her day to day activities in general. Please do not depend on your boyfriend or husband to identify the problem. They might not be aware of it but in any case it does not hurt to get their honest opinion. Only balanced men with female energy can easily identify the problem. It can be really obvious for them to detect sometimes.

If we discover that we have this problem, one of the most important factors is in acceptance of it and not to allow your ego and sense of pride to drive you into ignoring the reality of the situation. We are talking here in terms of a male ego and pride and it might be tough to let go of. You must identify the reason of why you are doing this exercise in the first place.

One important factor is that you are doing it purely for yourself. No blame should be directed in any way or form towards anyone who is involved, including yourself! Rather, you should spend your time and energy in trying to trace back to where the problem originated.

This exercise should not take forever to implement. It is not a life process to deal with our problems or issues as long as we have a true will to do so. Understanding a problem or a situation is basically one way of looking to our problems. So in your own time and regardless of your age, just go back in time and recall certain experiences where you had an involvement with a male figure. This can be your father, an uncle, a cousin, a boyfriend, or a husband. In some cases these situations it can trace as far back to an age as young as five years old.

Write down in your diary the whole event in order for you to empty it from your sub-conscious and then go further in time to any relationship where you were involved with the opposite sex. Try to figure out what went wrong in the situation.

Eventually you should be able to determine the common dominator in all of the different experiences and any pattern that is evidently repeating itself in the same time. When you do identify the problem the next step is now to deprogrammed all things that you have build up in your mind about how things should be. For example, your reactions to specific situations, people and your emotions and feelings in accordance to these reactions. All of the points that I have explained can come as a result from the problem situation in the first place. It is also very important to forgive yourself and the person involved in the situation. Take a look back at what you wrote six months later and you will see the difference in yourself after your effort toward bringing the changes you made during that time.

It might seem too simple to you. Well, it is, but it does work.

I would like to say also that I have NO problems with homosexual relationships as I do respect them as a matter of personal choice, preference and free will. My article brings discussion of the issues stated from a heterosexual male’s point of view, of whom, is in relationship with a woman.

In the end, do we realize that a man is only required to enhance his female by bringing the female intuition into his side? For a woman she needs to bring a male vibration into her environment which will bring her self-confidence and trust in herself. It is all about balance and has nothing else to it, so, let’s not complicate matters here, it really is pretty simple!

I would like to add at this point that this article is directed mainly toward women who are experiencing predominantly male characteristics as oppose to a male being over feminine. I believe I have no place to be discussing the latter as being a male myself! I can not experience the other end of the equation in sensing a male with a strong female. That issue will be for a woman to discuss in terms of a heterosexual relationship experience.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info

About the Author:

Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 750 articles on the site.

2006-11-11T11:13:00.002-08:00

What Flowers for Your Girlfriend this Christmas?

by: Natalie Aranda

A girl loves flowers regardless of how many times she has received them. Flowers show how fresh and precious your love is. Flowers remind her how beautiful and elegant she is. Love shines and flourishes like flowers throughout the year when you give flowers to your girlfriend on different occasions with meanings and thoughts.

Honeysuckle is a good birthday gift to symbolizes happiness. Red roses are the best flowers for Valentine's Day. The relationship you have with your girlfriend may affect the color of roses you buy. Carnations in red show passion and pink tells your girlfriend that she is always on your mind. Gerber daisies and wildflowers are both great selections for a new relationship because they are beautiful and bright. Red roses are usually reserved for longer relationships where the couple is passionately in love. Pink roses are appropriate for a newer relationship. Any other color of rose is appropriate as well, especially if your girlfriend is passionate about a certain color.

Christmas is always a hectic time and finding the perfect Christmas gifts for your girlfriend can seem overwhelming in a sea of shopping malls. However, a thoughtful gift that will be appreciated is flowers. The best flowers to give at Christmas time are orchids, holly, poinsettias, and the Christmas cactus as well as any red flower. The orchid signifies thoughtfulness and charm. Holly and the Poinsettia are two Christmas related flowers that are always used for decorating and as a result are readily available and a great gift for your girlfriend. A Christmas cactus is also a good idea and is a flowering cactus that generally blooms around Christmas time, although it can bloom at any time of year.

Christmas brings happiness and joy to every family. For moms and dads, it's the Christmas trees that call their children back to home. For kids, it's the Christmas wreaths that hang on their doors to tell the worlds that they are growing bigger. For lovers, it's always Christmas flowers and Christmas flower arrangements to show the freshness, beauty and elegance of their feelings.

2006-11-11T11:13:00.001-08:00

How To Stop The Fighting In Your Relationship

by: Dr Brenda Shoshanna

Copyright 2005 Brenda Shoshanna

For some couples fighting is the fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares. Many are determined to win a battle that never ends. Others try to right the wrongs they have experienced in the past with someone new. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is doomed to failure. When we bring baggage from a former relationship into the present, all new relationships simply become a continuation of the past.

What People Get Out of Fighting

It is important to understand why couples keep fighting. For some fighting is a fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares, things aren’t really over, and sparks still fly between them. Fighting can keep these couples bonded, causing them to think about each other a great deal. Some love power struggles. They love winning and feeling power over the other. This makes them feel strong.

Fighting can easily become a habit, something individuals fall into automatically and instinctively. Needless to say, fighting prevents real communication. Rather than addressing issues, it causes a situation to remain stuck.

"Without a good fight, a relationship is over,” says Mary, a twenty six year old administrative assistant. “The lights have gone off between us. It’s a sign my partner no longer cares.” Mary, who was recently divorced and is now in another choppy relationship feels that eventually she’ll marry a man with whom she can fight - and survive the storms. “ I respect a guy who I can fight with, who can take me as I am.” For Mary being angry, fighting and winning has became her identity. Without it, she no longer knows who she truly is. She does not see price she is paying for this kind of relationship or what toll it takes on all concerned. Unfortunately, the anger many individuals live with on a daily basis can become crystallized into their identity. Needless to say, this blocks out much of the happiness, flexibility, communication and intimacy they desire. “I’m not letting her walk all over me,” Roger would balk whenever his ex wife expressed her needs to him now, or brought up any issue. Rather than listening to what she had to say, he immediately took it as criticism. “She’s trying to tell me I’m inadequate,” he would declare. The war was on. What started as a conversation, turned into a power struggle. From Roger’s point of view, his very manhood was at stake. However, as long as any of us hold onto our anger and continue fighting, there is no hope of working the problems through. Roger could not pause and realize that his partner’s needs and feelings had nothing to do with him. He was determined to take whatever she said or did personally and keep feeling badly about himself. However, it’s impossible not to receive the fruits of what you have put forth. “As you sow, so shall you reap,” is an immutable law of living. Although we may justify all kinds of behavior it is absolutely inevitable that we alll experience the consequences of our thoughts, actions and deeds. There are many steps involved in letting go of anger. The very first is to realize that anger is a toxin. It is not a source of strength or power, but can become an addiction, something that hinders our well being and stops our life from going forward. There are definite steps we can take to undo anger. Here are a few one can take to begin. They are taken from The Anger Diet which offers one step a day for thirty days. These following guidelines are simple, but powerful. Why not try them today and see.

Putting An End To The War

1)Stop Blaming – While we are engaged in pointing a finger, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what is really going on. Blame is a way to keep the fight alive. TAKE A VACATION FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY. Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you keep your eyes open to watch how you may be stoking the fires. Focus upon what the person has done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been kind.

2)Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us, we will continue it automatically. Take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask, do I truly want this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today?

3) Choose To Be Happy Rather Than Right - This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right. Learn other tools and techniques which will de-escalate anger and make a positive relationship possible..

4)Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth The best defense against anger is feeling good about yourself. Build a sense of self worth. Treat yourself beautifully and treat your partner beautifully as well. Let go of all that opposes this.

As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.

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Melt away toxic feelings with Dr Shoshanna’s new book, The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living.) Psychologist, speaker and relationship expert, Dr Shoshanna has provided the only diet you’ll need – from anger. This diet shows us how to give up one form of anger a day and replace it with a healthy, constructive antidote. Discover how anger camouflages itself, pinpoint the 24 forms of anger, learn what to do when you’re the subject of anger and much more. Dr. Shohsanna is author of many books, including Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World), Wiley, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love (Simon and Schuster), Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships), Living By Zen, (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)
Contact Dr Shoshanna at http://www.brendashoshanna.com , or mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com

2006-11-11T11:12:00.001-08:00

How to Stop Divorce - Make Everything about Both of You

by: Alex Fir

Whether you consider yourself together or ‘two’- gether, you will both find a wonderfully comforting yet exciting familiarity with each other. Familiarity never truly spawns into contempt, as the saying goes. Relationships that exist without creativity and satisfaction are the kinds that spawn contempt. Doing things together with your spouse doesn’t mean that you become dependent on each other.

Dependence is absolutely the worst thing for your relationship and will ultimately lead to an unhealthy co-dependency. Complete independence is not altogether good for a marriage either. If you are so focused on your own independence, you can never be a true couple. Interdependence is what almost all successful couples have been able to achieve and maintain. Interdependence is simply a reciprocal relation between interdependent individuals. It is possible to achieve such a balance in a relationship and it is the best way to have a respectful and successful partnership with your spouse.

Start to think about everything you do as an activity or opportunity for the both of you. If you have to go out of town on a business trip, take your spouse with you. While you’re away or even while you’re at home together, take turns reading the newspaper aloud in bed. Make sure you read the funnies to each other and you must use appropriate voices for different characters!

Take entire days together to go out and explore new things. Buy a book that lists all of the attractions in yours and surrounding areas. Visit each place that neither one of you has been to before. Go on treasure hunts to places like flea markets, auctions, antique shops, second-hand stores, garage sales, craft sales and church rummage sales. These are great places to pick up gifts for your spouse that you save for a later date.

While most people know about ‘his and hers’ items like bathrobes and towels, there are a number of other items that can be enjoyed together as ‘couples’ items. Try getting matching motorcycles along with matching T-shirts. Have matching his and hers overnight bags, coffee mugs, bicycles, cell phones, cars, holiday ornaments, tennis rackets, rocking chairs and even matching carved pumpkins on Halloween.

Go shopping together and work on finding something for him and something for her. Go to a bookstore and select a book that you know your spouse will like and have him or her do the same for you. Go to a music store and select a CD you know that your spouse will like and again, have him or her do the same for you. Find other ways to apply this same concept to other specialty stores.

At the beginning of each month, sit down together as a couple and review your calendars. Make all of your plans that you will do together before working in all of your other appointments and commitments into your schedule. Your relationship commitments should always come first and be your top priority. Couples who keep their relationship first in their lives have the most enviable relationships.

If a marriage cannot be saved, it’s time to consider a divorce. Visit Divorce Help Center for more divorce information. You will also learn about do it yourself divorce.

2006-11-11T11:11:00.001-08:00

The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

by: David Steele

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther, because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A. they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well)

B. more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.

So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction — such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants — they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong, leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being.

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

"For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men want to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?"

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing."

I do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals and requirements — while feeling all those exciting sparks!

2006-11-11T11:10:00.001-08:00

52 Free Things to Do with Your Partner on Date Night

by: Kim Olver

One of the things that works to keep relationships alive is spending quality time with each other. In this day of the information age, it is becoming increasingly difficult to carve out the necessary time to nurture our relationships. What with long work hours, helping kids with their homework, transporting them around to their extracurricular activities, getting dinner, cleaning up and going through the bedtime routine, what time is left?

Unless you orchestrate the time for your relationship, other less important things will crowd in and take what precious little time you do have. Pick a night that will be “date night” with your partner and make a game out of being as creative as you can be. Try to see how many things you can do without spending money.

To get you started, I’ve come up with some suggestions to help you for the next year. What follows are 52 ideas for how to spend creative time together without spending money. Feel free to add or modify any of the items on the list to suit your particular relationship and circumstances.

WINTER

1. Take a drive to look at the Christmas decorations.
2. Play cards---perhaps strip poker.
3. Watch a movie together.
4. Go outside and have a snowball fight.
5. Get some finger paints and create your own body art with each other as your canvass.
6. Go sleigh riding.
7. Go ice skating.
8. Work out or exercise together.
9. Stage your own improvisation show.
10. Sing to each other.
11. Review or create a photo album or scrapbook of your memories together.
12. Play a board game---perhaps chess, Scrabble or Twister.
13. Go to a book store, get coffee and read for hours.

SPRING

14. Work on a remodeling project together.
15. Plan and complete a yard work project together.
16. Do the spring cleaning together---room by room. When done, reward yourself by making love in the room you’ve cleaned.
17. Put on old clothes and mud wrestle after some drenching rain.
18. Give each other a massage.
19. Play catch---football, baseball, softball or Frisbee.
20. Go to a car dealer and test drive the car of your dreams.
21. Shoot basketball together.
22. Dance together.
23. Take a shower together and wash each other---everywhere.
24. Take a free adult education class together.
25. Go to a mall and have a contest to see which one of you can get the most free samples.
26. Go rollerblading or bike riding.

SUMMER

27. Build a campfire and roast marshmallows.
28. Go swimming or skinny dipping.
29. Give each other a manicure or pedicure.
30. Go somewhere crowded to people watch.
31. Go to a free outdoor event, perhaps a concert.
32. Lie on a blanket outside and watch the clouds or stars.
33. Go on a picnic.
34. Watch a fireworks display.
35. Be creative and engage in sexual role plays. Be anyone you’d like to be for the night who is also exciting for your partner.
36. Sit by the water somewhere.
37. Do a prolonged strip tease for each other.
38. Have a water balloon fight.
39. Sit outside and read poetry to each other.

FALL

40. Go for a drive together.
41. Go window shopping.
42. Incorporate food into your love making---chocolate syrup, whipped cream, fondue, strawberries---anything you and your partner enjoy.
43. Call or write to someone you haven’t had contact with in a while.
44. Cook something together.
45. Spend an evening just talking with each other. Talk about the things you have done, plans you have for the future, important people in your lives or current events.
46. Take a bubble bath together.
47. Go to a free movie or museum.
48. Take a drive and find the potential in old houses and their properties.
49. Create an imaginary story together---either orally or in written form.
50. Take turns being each other’s genie in a bottle by fulfilling your partner’s every wish and fantasy.
51. Play in the fallen leaves.
52. Create an exciting scavenger hunt that ends in your bed.

Now you have 52 suggestions for things to do with your partner for every week of the year divided by season. Certainly you don’t have to follow my suggestions. Feel free to add your own or to repeat your favorites as often as you’d like.

The main point is not to see how kinky you can get. The idea is to keep your relationship alive by making time together a priority. It is important that you find things to do as a couple that you can both enjoy. If you have vastly different interests then you can enter this with the spirit of taking turns and each agree to happily participate in the activity chosen by the one whose turn it is that week.

As long as you make a habit of making your relationship a priority and allocating time each week for rejuvenation of the feelings that attracted you in the first place, then you stand a good chance of staying together for the long haul.

Please don’t let insidious boredom enter into your relationship through the back door. This is what frequently happens when we are busy placing other things ahead of our time for each other. You know what I mean---the job, the kids, our friend in crisis, etc. There will always be a competing interest for the time you’ve set aside for each other.

Other than natural disasters, threat of death or major crises, do not allow your time together to be invaded by any outside forces. Make sure to create opportunities for you to do things together without outside influence. With more than 50% of today’s marriages ending in divorce, make this small investment in the longevity of your relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What’s stopping you? Start today.

2006-11-11T11:09:00.000-08:00

Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

by: Margaret Paul

Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Megan asked the following questions in one of our phone
sessions: "Over and over, when I'm really attracted to a man
and I sleep with him fairly early in the relationship, I
discover that he is not good husband material. What am I
doing wrong? Am I just attracted to the wrong kind of men?"

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

"Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way
that arouses women. These men define their worth by their
sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know
just how to sexually ignite a woman - it's an energy that
they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and
makes you think that something real and important is
happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction
rather than from caring or intimacy."

"So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual
attraction?"

"You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn't
mean anything – that it's just an energy that is being
projected onto you but has nothing to do with love,
intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting
relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon
first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this
man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a
real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not
have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very
attracted."

"Well, when do you have sex?"

"When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each
other and really care about each other's wellbeing. When you
know that the feelings are not just sexual, and that the
sexuality is coming from the emotional intimacy rather than
from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a
commitment to the relationship and to learning and growing
with each other? How often have you slept with a man that
you were really attracted to and then had the relationship
not work out?"

"More often than I'm willing to admit. This is what keeps
happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with
men that I'm not immediately attracted to?"

"Yes, if you like them. Often, sexual attraction grows as
you really get to know a person. Many of my clients with the
best relationships are people who were not immediately
attracted to each other. The attraction grew as they fell in
love with each other. Others, who were attracted
immediately, lost their attraction as they got to know the
person.

"Many men can have sex and then just move on without any
inner turmoil. Yet many women feel connected to a man when
they have sex with him and then feel awful when the
relationship doesn't work out. It is unloving to yourself to
sleep with a man early in the relationship and then run the
risk of being dumped because all he wanted was sex.

"Another factor is that sex without emotional intimacy is
often disappointing for both people. When you have sex too
early in a relationship, it might not be emotionally or
physically satisfying. When sex is not an expression of
love, it often feels empty, and then the guy might decide
that you are not the right person for him because there were
no fireworks. Yet if you had waited for love to develop, it
might have been wonderful. You really have nothing to lose
by waiting."

"But," replied Megan, "I always think that a man won't like
me if I don't have sex with him."

"Well, if you doesn't like you for not having sex with him,
what does this tell you about him?"

"I guess it tells me that he is not good husband material."

"Right! So you have nothing to lose by not having sex right
away."

"Okay, I see that now. I see that what I've been doing is
never going to lead to marriage. I'm going to put sex on the
back burner and pay more attention to caring and intimacy."

Megan completely changed her pattern with men and within a
year she was engaged to be married.

About The Author:

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is
the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a
FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone
Sessions Available.

2006-11-11T11:08:00.000-08:00

Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

by: Margaret Paul

2006-11-11T11:07:00.001-08:00

Keeping Love Alive

by: Mershon Niesner

I believe that finding, sustaining, growing, and enjoying satisfying relationships is one of greatest joys and challenges we have as human beings. We have generally been blessed with a tremendous desire to love and be loved; to listen and be listened to; to take care of and accept care from others. And yet meaningful, sustainable relationships often elude us – especially as it applies to the opposite sex.

Here are some things I’ve learned in my walk through life - as a divorced single mom, widower, and over 50 remarried - about finding and sustaining a “soul-mate” relationship:

1. Know who you are and what you want. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t know what it is. As women look for love, we often take what comes our way rather than seeking what and who we want. Knowing the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with comes from knowing who you are – your values, interests, what you can/will tolerate, what you won’t.

2. Learn how to disagree, speak your mind, and/or confront.
Avoiding conflict is death for a marriage. It may seem like you’re on the right path by never, ever arguing or disagreeing but avoiding conflict requires repression of anger, which leads to depression of feelings. Passion is extinguished in this environment. Learn to fight fair and keep the slate clear. (see article on What Are You Afraid Of?)

3. Speaking of passion – keep the fire lit! I think women often underestimate the critical role sexuality and having a really good sex life plays in a successful marriage. Men, you know what I’m talking about! Create romantic opportunities, ask for what you want, talk, talk, talk – do what you as a couple need to do to keep this aspect of your relationship alive and well.

4. Don’t allow children and child-raising to take precedence over your marital relationship. A great marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Get away from the kids on a regular basis. Find a good sitter! Arrange for an overnight with just the two of you at least once a year. Talk about matters other than the kids, the bills, the family. Someday it will just be the two of you again. Be sure you still know each other.

5. Take responsibility for your actions and affirm each other. Say, “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake or hurt your partner. Say, “Thank you” when they do something for you. Appreciate what your husband does! Don’t take “expected” action for granted. Recognition and affirmation are two of the best gifts you can give each other. Spend them freely.

6. Don’t take on the persona of, “I shouldn’t have to ask – he should know.” This is one of the greatest mistakes women make in a relationship. I hear women say things like, “But if I have to ask for it, the real meaning/pleasure/gesture is lost.” Get over it! Men can’t read our minds. They’re not always tuned in or on the same wave length. Maybe they just don’t know. Be a big girl and ask for what you want! (I’m pretty tough on this issue)

7. Get help if you need it. Don’t put your head under a bushel. If your relationship is in trouble (no matter whose “fault” either one of you thinks it is), seek out ways to make it better. Find a relationship coach, a therapist, a marriage counselor, a book – I highly recommend John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus In the Bedroom (it’s on tape so you can listen to it together), Don’t give up – keep searching and talking and striving until things get better. The answer rarely lies in changing partners.

Coaching tip
Review what you have, what you want, the hidden or apparent treasure of love. If you have a soul mate, never, never take this relationship for granted. It is rare indeed!

2006-11-11T11:06:00.001-08:00

Power Struggle! – By Joseph Ghabi

by: Joseph Ghabi

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our soul growth, but somehow we have that confused with becoming powerful. Power does not bring growth unless we understand the essence of sharing that power.

The struggle for power is a main characteristic in basically all of our relationships. The main types of relationships I recognize and have categorized into three main groups for you are work relationships, family relationships, and emotional relationships.

The way I can understand and relate to when it comes to our relationships is as follows, a relationship is basically the cooperation between any two people, on whatever level they are working on. Very simple, yet it’s apparently very hard for most of us to deal with in our lives.

In many instances as we can see, cooperation between those people involved in the relationship tends to exist as a power struggle, in terms of who will succeed in gaining control or domination over the other person in order to meet their own needs or requirements. In such a case, the dominant one is losing his or her growth and in effect, the victim is achieving the growth of both people involved in that relationship. What do I mean by that? Think about it! We do obtain a greater amount of grow in experiencing a bad situation.

When you are the abuser, it is a likely case that in reality, you do not understand yourself what you are doing. Many of the people who have been a victim of abuse are carrying the burden of a situation or circumstance they grew up in, in terms of being abused. They might not have been granted any chance to learn how to understand, accept, and deal with this experience of being abused. In effect, they do not know any better, but at the same time they are going backward in their own life until they begin to understand the experience and their lesson fully. Unfortunately for those who are being or have been abused, this is a process of which they had to go through. In some instances it is part of Karma, but the lesson to be learnt here is how to handle the situation and get out of it without being hurt and having a deeper scar than that intended in the first place. In this case the abuser will gain much more in their understanding of the experience unless, of course, they choose not to learn their lesson. I would like to put this into perspective because in certain situations where the abuser has become accustomed to being abused and complaining about his/her situation, it is eventually taken for granted as being an easy way of bringing attention to themselves and to gain sympathy from others. However, that will eventually lead to becoming a pattern and a vicious circle. We can choose to either complain as much we like about our situation or we can do something to try to improve it. It is up to you to be the judge in your own situation. At the end of the day, we do have the power to do improve our lives and achieve our growth it is not up to anyone else to change that.

Have we ever wondered why we feel the need to control our partner? If this is the case, why are we in the relationship in the first place? Are we trying to prove something to ourselves, in order to fill the gap of something that is lacking? Perhaps we need that extra confidence that we think we are achieving when we are in control of someone else’s life, making him or her feel insecure as a result of that domination. I believe there are many possible reasons and many questions and their answers come from the need to look to our inner selves in the first place.

In many relationships of our time and from what we can see with the people in our surroundings, we become able to evaluate the way they respond to conflicts or harsher situations in their lives. The initial response and what appears to be an ‘easy escape’ is that we always tend to shift the blame to the other person involved and claim we have nothing to do with the incident in the first place. We like to proclaim that he or she was manipulating our weakness or our self-confidence and used it as a weapon against us. This may be the case, but we do have responsibility for ourselves and should NOT allow for such treatment to take place.

One thing I personally cannot understand is why we allow our emotions to overpower our rational mind when the people around us who really do care are constantly reminding us we should leave the situation that is bringing us pain and hurting, but we choose not to listen to anyone. Many people have told me “it is easier said than done!’ I don’t think so! When we are in any situation where we can see no apparent opportunity of growth in that relationship, but we choose to stay anyway even though we are being hurt in the process, well, there is no excuse! Sometimes we are afraid of leaving, this may well be the case, but we need to find out why we are afraid and what it is exactly we are afraid of. That might help!!!

It is apparent to me that on most occasions our pride and ego are taking the best out of us in terms of accepting humility, which is essential sometimes and will enable us to put our life back in order when we see the truth from a different perspective. When we are able to drop the ego and pride, we do see the situation in a whole new light. There is nothing wrong in being humiliated from time to time and when necessary because that will build up our self-confidence to move forward in life with a new understanding and awareness in light of the situation.

Another problem that I feel occurs frequently when dealing with relationships is that we always seem to have a hard time in letting go of the previous experience we passed through. The ‘letting go’ is an essential factor here and must be fulfilled in order to allow any new experience to take effect in our lives. In reality we will never go backwards in life unless we allow it to happen. The choice is in our own hand. Letting go is the most important factor of our growth and we must learn to master the art of ‘letting go’ to break ourselves free by accepting the experience as being just an experience for what it really is, and most importantly, without keeping any bitterness in our hearts which can take control in our next relationship.

The only way we can move on and allow new opportunities for growth to come into our life is by investing in our next relationship instead of withdrawing due to us being afraid of getting hurt. That thought alone will bring the experience to you because you are asking for it in the first place. Whatever we project will become our own reality. It is about time that we stop and take a moment to look to our lives from a totally different and detached perspective, especially when we see things are still happening in the same way year after year. Haven’t you asked yourself the question yet? Why am I stagnating in my life?

You hold the answers to any question you have. Isn’t it time to start looking in a different way when it comes to our relationships? If you think you are happy so far in your relationships, yet, you still find means to complain then you really are not happy. Try to introduce the word “change” as a part of your vocabulary! Trust me our only mystery in life is in learning to understand ourselves. We are tough when it comes to dealing with ourselves, but why? We try to create an image, in fact, in most cases, a fake image of how we would like people to see us for what we are on the outside but in reality we are dying from the inside. What is it that we are hoping to achieve from this? It seems the result is usually always at our own expense! Look at your life and try to bring yourself back down to earth to enable yourself to evaluate your life accordingly.

On a final note, being in relationship with no depth of communication between the two souls involved is rather like not being in a relationship at all! I would like you to take a look around one day when you are in a restaurant. Observe the people around you, particularly those who are in as a couple. Of, course they are sharing the same table, but each individual might seem to be ‘somewhere else’ in their own thoughts and with no exchange of conversation except perhaps “how is your food dear?” Is that really a true relationship? Maybe in some peoples opinion, but I do not think so. The way we have been taught and how we have become used to evaluating our relationships in many cases is wrong and is an example that seems to mislead us into following inaccurate examples.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info

About the Author:

Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.
Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

2006-11-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

Living in Fear! – By Joseph Ghabi

by: Joseph Ghabi

As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part of our life, and our own personal growth. Our growth starts basically from our relationships. Remember when we were young looking up to our parents, or to our older brothers or sisters, sometimes envying them for being older, or just trying to understand them. But the best of all was trying to build up our relationship with them.

From that point on our own personal growth began. This initial growth, helped to direct us towards different directions in life, according to the way we did handle those early growth experiences.

I have spoken before about how our ego and pride plays part in our relationships. This time, we will look at another area that can really hit us hard when we are in a relationship, and that is fear and selflessness.

What is fear? Fear can be defined in many different ways, but we will look at fear in a relationship as our concern today.

Fear, is defined by two different aspects of our relationships. As I see it today, it is the fear of commitment and the fear of the other person in a relationship. Fear of commitment in a relationship can happen to the best of us when we have had one, or several, tough relationships or tough times growing up in this lifetime. That can help to keep that fear alive.
Why do we keep carrying around that fear? Very simple - many times we don’t know any better, and other times we are just afraid to be vulnerable, or to allow ourselves to open up. That fear can only bring unhappiness in the end.

Fear of the other person in the relationship is just as tough as that first fear but we need, and it is very important, to be honest with ourselves and to ask the question “Why are we afraid of our partner?” Why have we allowed ourselves to be stuck in that relationship for so long? What is it that created this fear in us? Why have we allowed it to go that far in the first place? Asking that, and many other good questions that need to be addressed until we click in with the answer. Do not disqualify any answer because that is what most of us do in the first place. Our intuition seems to be the last thing we trust. Just learn to trust that inner voice of yours. Fear can only be resolved by building up our own self-confidence. Your partner, in this case, probably knows that you fear him or her and may take advantage of this!

From my angle, I see again that fear lies in the way that we grew up and what we really need to look at is our own level of self-confidence. Sometimes we have been abused as a child and our self-esteem is tarnished. I wrote on these subjects before, but what we need to tackle now is on how we have chosen to build up our self-confidence and self-esteem. This is a very important start.

To be able to accomplish this you need to go back to whatever age you were when that problem started to occur. Look at it as if you were seeing yourself, and your life, as a movie in front of you. Write down everything you see, and start to listen to the way you talk today. Is there a common pattern? You should see something reoccurring over time and even in how you experience your relationships today. You will probably see that those patterns are still there, as if it were the first time it happened some ten, fifteen or twenty years ago. It is great if you can identify these patterns in your life that keep repeating, in a progressive way, time after time, or from one relationship to another. Then you will know from where you will need to begin, and fix what you have identified as needing fixing. Many times we say “but I can’t see it yet”. After time has passed, read all of the writing that you did earlier as a child growing up. Reading it later may help you to see the patterns, I guarantee that! BUT, there is one thing that you might or might not see throughout the years, and that is the negative attitude you may have about yourself, and your life, and that has to change too. If you master your attitude, then you are almost guaranteed that over eighty percent of your problem is solved. Think about it for a moment please…

I learned from my own healing and working with my guides, and healing doctors, that there is no cure until it is handled at the root of the problem. Not just by the symptoms of today’s problems, or else nothing (or a very little amount) will change. New problems will surface later on because the understanding of the early stage of the problem hasn’t been identified and this may prevent us from being provided with the answer to a happier existence. It really does not matter why things happened in the first place, as long as we learn to accept our unfortunate situation. Forgive, bless it, and let it go. It won’t take a lifetime for things to change in your life from that point on. That’s from my own personal experiences.

Sometimes, this process is very hard and painful to go through. Your old life experiences, and your energy level, might go to the bottom, but not as long as you know why you are doing it in the first place. It’s not a long process but two important factors are required YOU being involved in the first place. It is your life after all, and your own personal responsibility. Without those two ingredients we will keep running in a circle.

As you see when you properly handle the first stage of the problem, all of the symptoms or hurdles will fall and disappear instantly without even realizing it, because it is no longer important to your mind, heart and soul. It has been solved!

After all, the worse thing any Soul has to endure is living in fear, all of their life, especially while next to their partner, and the people who they love.

Enjoy your relationships with the people you love, and cherish it for all that it’s worth, because life is worth living and it should be in harmony.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info

2006-11-11T11:04:00.001-08:00

Domestic Violence - Ask Agony Aunt - updated

by: Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

My partner abuses me mentally and physically - what should I do?

Agony Aunt Says:

Ask a dozen people and each one of them will give you as many opinions. Remember, they are opinions. Ultimately, you have to make a choice - it's your life.

Even full time professionals get it wrong from time to time because they often focus on what they are taught. They go through the "processes" and on occasions they forget that each case is unique; they forget they are dealing with real people. Fortunately, such mistakes are rare.

What would I do if I were placed in a situation that you describe?
***

I would immediately ensure my personal safety.

If I face any immediate danger, I would call the authorities. Otherwise, I would move away from the threat and seek help from a lawyer. If necessary, the lawyer would take appropriate steps to stop the threats and the violence.

Of course, by consulting a lawyer, I know that I may be putting my relationship on the line as my partner may react adversely to this. But then the choice is between putting the relationship at risk or my personal and emotional well being.

Refuse to live in fear.

I take the view that mental and or physical violence is not acceptable - I have a zero tolerance for it.

A relationship only works properly when the parties respect human dignity.

If my partner doesn't respect me and uses violence, I would put my foot down on the very first occasion and say that if it happens once more, that will be the end of the relationship. If it happens a second time, I would end the relationship.

Violence doesn't have any place in a truly loving relationship.

Here's another important tip: most offenders carry on because victims keeps quiet.

Bring the violence out in the open - and your partner may change. If not, don't put up with it - you can do far better with your life; don't waste it behind violent creatures.

*** Important disclaimer: I simply offer my "opinion"
so you may compare it with help available via your local professionals. You should always seek local professional help and advice before taking any action.

====================
Resources and References:
Copyright 2005 by Agony Aunt at http://www.AffectionatePersonals.com / http://www.AskProfessors.com / Article Syndication by http://www.InternetPressOffice.com / Writing and Editing by Freelance Writers / Freelance Ghostwriters / Web Content Writers at
http://www.CorporateWriters.com
All Rights Reserved.

2006-11-11T11:02:00.000-08:00

Don't Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

by: Keishia Lee Louis

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a wink. It begins in a boardroom or a chatroom. One spouse says, "What's the problem? We're only friends."

The other spouse can't believe the reassurances. So the jealousy builds and a wedge is driven between partners. Sometimes nothing really is going on, and sometimes an affair is in progress. It's only a matter of time.

So how can you tell if your spouse is a potential cheater? How can you stop a relationship from becoming romantic outside of your marriage? Here are five topics to think about before determining if your marriage is in the danger zone.

1. Secrecy: Do you feel as though your partner could be telling you more about his or her new friend? Or do you hide the details of your platonic relationship from your spouse? If so, why? It's best not to keep secrets from your partner, even if you think he or she will be hurt, angry or jealous. If you want a successful relationship, trust and honesty is the one factor for marriage that should not be compromised.

2. Displaced Trust: Is information that should only be shared between husband and a wife, shared outside of the relationship? Topics like sexual intimacy, irreconcilable differences, personal finances, and detailed accounts of your partner's shortcomings are best left within the constructs of your marriage relationship.

3. Comparing: Does your spouse compare you to friend(s) of the opposite sex often? Or do YOU feel as though your spouse could improve in the areas that your special friend excels? Comparing once or twice may not be a problem, but habitual comparison is a warning sign.

4. Time Management: What type of time do you spend together as a married couple? Is it mainly dutiful, like paying bills or going to conferences for the kids? Or do you actually date-- one-on-one, no kids, family or friends around? If not, and you find yourself, or your partner, engaged in date like activities outside of your relationship, stop it. Either invite your spouse or don't do it anymore. Coffee talk can turn to pillow talk in the blink of an eye.

5. Attraction: Do you feel as though your spouse like the way his/her special friend looks? Are you attracted to the way your friend looks or the way he/she does something? If so, address this issue with your partner and then try to refocus your attention on each other, rather than the outside party.

If three to five of these topics need to be addressed in your marriage, I urge you to get professional help either from your religious leader or from a professional counselor.

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor and Publisher of http://www.Married4Good.com (launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other printed publications.

Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published Spring 2006.

2006-11-11T11:01:00.001-08:00

Be Glad That There’s Quarrel in Your Relationship

by: Rick Valens

Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing. Hmm… did I make things sound a bit too scary? Ha, it is not exactly that serious; don’t be scared off by me. Well, I should believe that the both of you are just, still in the sweet honeymoon period of your relationship.

In life, we encountered a lot of up and downs. But it is nevertheless, through all these problems and obstacles that we learn to stand up on our feet times and times again despite the falls we had, that made us what we are today. If life were to be so smooth for us, we wouldn’t have grown and learn to truly appreciate it. The same goes for love; if a relationship is ever so sweet and smooth, we wouldn’t have learn to really appreciate and cherish the love that is between ourselves and our love. It is through the overcoming of all those quarrels and problems, surviving them through together that we truly know that we deeply cherish the love that is between both, strengthening the relationship more than ever.

Be glad that there is quarrel between both. It actually means that the both have developed another step further in your relationship. It is only when one is closer to you that a quarrel will then actually happen. I don’t suppose you will pick up a quarrel with your partner whom you just started dating? You be just trying all out to please him or her instead, wouldn’t you?

But do however treat each and every quarrel seriously, especially when the both of you have just started. This is the time for you and your partner to further understand each other more deeply, the time for you to reflect on yourself and honestly think about the relationship. This is the time for the relationship to be tested. A test of your love for one another; whether this relationship is strong enough to withstand any thunderstorm there may be. Well, a survival never fails to further strengthen the relationship, truly cherishing each other ever more.

Avoid unnecessary reasoning at the point of a quarrel. Most of the times it will only make things worse, wait till both have cooled down. At the end of the day, always make an effort to find out what actually went wrong. Is it your fault? Talk to each other nicely, share your unhappiness; let your partner know how you felt. A softer tone is always more calming and pleasing to the ears. Your partner will usually be willing to listen and to share his or her feelings with you too. Sometimes it is out of too much care for one another that unwillingly trigger off a quarrel between both?

Remember, nobody wanted any quarrel. If you are at fault, please don’t be a stubborn donkey, you jolly well apologize and seek for your partner’s forgiveness. A word of sorry isn’t really that hard to say out? There is nothing ashamed to feel of, especially when with your love? Admit your fault, a sincere apology would always be pleasing to the ears; most of the time, harmony it will bring. Nonetheless, if your partner were to apologize to you, you graciously accept it. Why start another quarrel when you could end it? Well, there shouldn’t be any overnight grudges between couples.

Give each other a good hug. “I love you dear, I am really so sorry to have hurt you, please forgive me…” Now isn’t that such a sweet ending? It is usually through so that you understand each other better, cherishing each other even dearly. Remember, love is a two-way communication. It takes two happy persons, a happy you and your love to complete the equation.

Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum

2006-11-11T11:00:00.001-08:00

5 Tips For Successful Relationships

by: Kathy Thompson

Feel free to print/reprint this article in its entirety
in your ezine or website as long as you leave all the
links in place. Don't modify the content and include the
resource box as listed. Please send a note when it is used.
Thank you.

word count: 365
character width: 60

Title: "5 Tips For Successful Relationships"

- by Kathy Thompson
writing4u@faceuptoit-youcan.com

(c) Kathy Thompson - All Rights Reserved
www.faceuptoit-youcan.com

"5 Tips For Successful Relationships!"

"Love conquers all, right?" Well----it's suppose to.
But most marriages will end in divorce. Most of their
problems are about the children, money, or in-laws.
When couples commit to a long relationship, there are
specific personality traits they should have in common.
1. Similiar physical texture (thick skinned/thin skinned)
2. Similiar emotional stability
3. Similiar degree of tolerance
4. Similiar intelligence/understanding of situations
5. Similar Interests

Without these five traits, the couple live on difference
planes, different worlds. They are inclined to drift
apart.

Couples grow by adjusting to their differences, but some
times, the amount of the difference may be too much.

Love provides the reason for being willing to adjust to
the other person's difference from yours.

A frequent question is; "How do I know it's real love?"
The answer may be that when you are enjoying something
special - ex: a movie, a sunset, flower, song, and you
long to have your partner to share it with. The
degree of longing will determine how much in love you are.

Growth in a relationship should come from; doing things
together, allowing things to happen, accepting them as
is, and changing what you can. It involves sharing and
caring.

Couples usually don't mind working at their relationship
as long as they have a closeness to each other. They
don't want divorce, they want understanding. Divorce is
usually a rebellion at not being able to get through to
each other. The couple are still in love, that's why it
hurts so much to part.

There is a story of a couple who had been engaged for
seven years. The young lady didn't have the courage to
commit. They had their personalities profiled and
learned to adjust to each other's personalities. They
understood each other as individuals and their relationship
flourished.

To perfect your relationships "Secrets For A Happier Love
Life" is now available to help you. Get your FREE e-course
at; http://www.faceuptoit-youcan.com/ssale.html
Contact Kathy at; success4u@faceuptoit-youcan.com

2006-11-11T10:59:00.001-08:00

Learn To Listen - 3 Ways It Benefits Relationships

by: Cori Sachais Swidorsky

We always hear about communication being the key in a relationship. If we are always talking and not listening, then communication becomes meaningless.

It’s not easy to hear what someone else is saying, especially when our feelings, thoughts and opinions are different. Here are three reasons why learning to listen benefits our relationships.

Shows Respect – When having a discussion, listening to the other person shows that you respect what they are saying. Even if we disagree with what’s being said, we still need to respect their thoughts and feelings.
Helps Us To Understand – It’s difficult to understand what someone is trying to tell us if we aren’t listening. Listening helps to understand why someone is feeling a certain way. Once we understand, we can move forward with the situation and take the steps needed.
Helps To Be Approachable – In relationships, it’s important for someone to feel they can to talk to us about anything. Learning to listen can help others feel comfortable approaching us any time they need or want to discuss something. We are likely to have a more open and healthy relationship if we are approachable.
We want others to respect, understand and be approachable to us right? Work on learning to listen and watch your relationship grow in positive ways

Authors Bio

Reside in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Work at home mom/stay at home mom. Owner of the Informing Women Newsletter and website http://www.informingwomen.com Write an advice column for a community newsletter, have an inspirational piece being published in Chicken Soup For The Recovering Soul, and have articles published on many work at home, home based business, tips and hints, and parenting websites.

2006-11-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship

by: Sonia Devine

Copyright 2005 Sonia Devine

The quality of your life has a strong connection with how healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying, because you can’t manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you, they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of paying attention to the positive aspects of your relationship.

If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other person changes, it’s time to get real, because:

*** The Buck Stops With You. ***

Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example, maybe you think: “If only he was tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc…”? Whatever you put your attention on expands. If you only notice the things that annoy you about others, or if you focus on what you think they are not doing right, then you will only experience more of the behaviour that you are trying to avoid!

Try this exercise:

Think about this specific person, and write down the qualities you admire in them. Take the time to remember what drew you to them in the first place. Maybe they are great at making you laugh…they could be a good listener, or have a talent for organising things and events. Whatever you like about this person, write it onto a list! And then look at this list every day.

By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention onto the positive aspects of the relationship and you will start to experience even more of these qualities that you like! Your relationship will improve and the other person will start to become more loving, open and receptive towards you as well.

What About Those Things You Don't Like?

Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you get upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot be assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is that bothers you, you must understand this:

We criticize in others the very qualities that we dislike most about ourselves

We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When you look at another person, you are also looking at a version of yourself. Learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, and you will become more tolerant of what you see as their negative qualities. And remember, other people, are always a mirror to you.

If you want a great relationship, you need to pay attention to the way you react to people. And most importantly, treat others as you would like to be treated. You have the ability to create a happy, fulfilling relationship, and if you learn to see yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more and more open to experiencing the good qualities those people.

------

Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her website
http://www.manifest-your-success.com

2006-11-11T10:54:00.001-08:00

Do You Love Yourself?

by: Rick Valens

Always feeling insecurity over your love relationship? So much so to the extent of even feeling suspicious, doubting your partner’s love for you? Well though it might not exactly always be your fault but still I must say, this is the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship. In the long run, it might even lead to an end of the relationship.

I should believe that you are having such thoughts because you really cherish this relationship? But well, perhaps cherishing it just a bit too much? Think about it, how would you feel if things were the other way round? Would you like it if your partner were to doubt your love for them instead? Always calling on you to find out where you are, whom you are with, what you are doing? Believe me, nobody like that. It is only negative and more negative feedbacks that I have got from friends that are having such encounters.
Some, who simply cannot stand it, initiated a break off.

Remember, trust between partners is one of the key criteria to a happy and fulfilling relationship. Without it, an ever-lasting relationship would never be possible.

But first of all, before we can built up this mutual trust, that is one very important thing you must achieve and that is, to trust yourself! If you don’t even trust yourself, how can you expect others, your very love to trust you? To have faith in the relationship?

You must believe in yourself, believing that there is this very special you within yourself. A very special you that make you well liked by friends and family, which of course also include your very love, loving this very special and unique you.

Everybody is unique in his or her very own way. That can only be one you and no more else in this world. Your friends and family like you for who you are. Your love, loves you for who you are. So when everyone genuine likes you, how can you yourself, don’t like yourself as who you are? Doubting your very own self? I don’t suppose you wanna lose your friends and that special someone whom you truly love?

Look into the mirror today and tell yourself, “You are great! I love you!” Yes, when you love yourself, you will naturally have this feel of confidence bringing out that very radiance in you. When you yourself are happy, others will naturally feel happy when being with you.

Remember, love is always a two-way communication. It takes two, a happy you and a happy him or her to complete the equation.

©2005 www.loveletterbox.com

Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com , Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory

2006-11-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work

by: Rachelle Arlin Credo

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?

The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.

1. COMMUNICATION is the key.

In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.

2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.

It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!

3. Keep yourself BUSY.

You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.

4. HONESTY is the best policy.

The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.

5. The value of TRUST

Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."

6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement

In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.

7. PATIENCE is a virtue.

Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.

8. WEBCAM

This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.

9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.

It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".

10. ENJOY LIFE!

Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?

Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.

Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in various magazines and online publications.

2006-11-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Lover's Quarrel

by: Rachelle Arlin Credo

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. A little bantering was all it took to stoke up a rising emotional tension.

Every now and then, no matter how close and intimate a couple is, an argument occasionaly looms to create a tide in the relationship. Although sometimes it shakes a relationship down to its very core, if handled well, it is healthy and
can help create lasting relationships. Here is a list of what couples like you usually argue about and what you should do whenever you are faced with another petty bickering.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It is not negative in itself. How people react to jealous feelings make it negative.
Usually, jealousy stems from the lack of trust or lack of assurance from one's partner. It can also come from a low self-image or an inferioriy complex. If you're the jealous one, learn to act by reason and not by emotion. Your jealousy is just a product of your own mental-emotional patterns that only exist in your head. Just because your lover admired something about another person, does not mean that you are loved any less, or that the person is more attractive than you are. Voice out how you feel to your partner so that you can discuss things and he can help you alleviate your jealousy. If your partner is the green-eyed monster, assure him of your devotion and reassure him of his innate worth as your love mate. Perhaps your partner needs more attention and affection than you are giving him.

Individual Differences

When you first met, it may be the similarities you found with each other that instantly created the bond and rapport. However, as you knew each other better, it's your differences that potentially fashioned the strength of your relationship. Hence, it is important that you value the differences that make you unique as a couple. Perhaps, there might be times when you may want to change your partner into your view of his potential. But even if you'd succeed in your crusade, chances are you'd lose respect for him for allowing you to have done it and for not having the personal strength to be himself. So it is better that you both learn to compromise and meet halfway everytime a conflict surges. Be ready to recognize each other's weaknesses and learn to appreciate what the other has to offer. Instead of seeing yourselves as separate individuals, practise seeing each other as an aspect of yourselves. In this way you shatter the illusion of separation and bridge the gap that's keeping you asunder.

Unmet Expectations

When a dispute recurs but too many times like a bad case of athlete's foot but you have no clue as to what's really causing the problem, odds are it was because your partner did not meet your expectations or he didn't meet yours. When expectations are not met, a spat usually ushers in. Depending on the expectations you may want to concede in your relationship, it is highly commendable that you bring your expectations upfront from the very start of the relationship. Determine which expectations are most important to you and which are most important to your partner. Spend some time tossing around what you both desire and need from the relationship and what you must have and won't tolerate from each other. Remember, love works best when it involves both give and take.

You're-Wrong-I'm-Right Attitude

Instincts often tell us not to give up and admit defeat in times of disagreements especially if we are certain that we are right. But come to think of it, does it really matter who's right and who's not? In a relationship, it is never good to assert too much if it means you could hurt your partner. Let go of having to "be right!" If you must speak up, do it lovingly. Never tell your partner that he is wrong straight in the face. If you do this, you may just stir a storm in a teacup and set about a violent outburst. Instead of having to be RIGHT, decide between your mate that it is more important to be HAPPY. Discuss in a loving way areas of mutual concern then agree on certain terms so that you prevent yourselves from meshing with future disagreements.

Money Matters

When you're going through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, money may not be much of an issue. Nonetheless, as the relationship progresses, power struggles and control issues around money may just start surfacing. This creates tension that if not resolved, can put a serious damper on the relationship. Where critical differences exist in your financial expectations, try to negotiate. Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some control. In any case, if one is earning more than the other, he/she shouldn't hold all the control because even if the other is contributing less in the financial aspect, that does not mean he/she is contributing any less in other areas of the relationship. Over all of this, if there are still issues, sit and talk things over. Discussion and cooperation may not confer instant solutions to difficult financial issues, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will help maintain the zing in your relationship.

Arguments by nature are difficult and can even be hurtful and frustrating. And yet, they are a normal natural aspect of any relationship. Like the salt to meat dishes, they add flavor to the lives of couples and help build better relationships. On the other hand, if disputes are handled poorly, they can also potentially wreck a strong relationship. So, in order to avoid this, every disagreement should be carefully handled in a way that would boost relationship satisfaction and pave the way for new growth together. Truly, it's fun to fight and make up (and out) after knowing you have worked together through it all.

2006-11-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

How We Define Our Relationships – by Joseph Ghabi

by: Joseph Ghabi

We can fall into the habit of complaining about our relationships, but do we really take the time to evaluate them? Maybe not, because well, we’re always right! He or she never listens to ME or does things the way I think is right (the human EGO speaking loudly here!)

First of all, we need to understand one thing – which we do not live in our parents’ or grandparents’ time. The “souls” of our generation are here to acquire as much life experience as possible in this one lifetime. What do I mean by this?

When my soul decided to come back and integrate into this body, the temple of my soul, I educated myself in spirit and prepared (in theory) for all the experiences I would have in this lifetime. I decided to come back to understand these experiences by having to understand the human emotions – the anger, the crying and all of the other human frustrations – that went with the experience. But in reality, this is an experience for my soul knowledge, for my forever soul evolution. Once this experience is finished, everything from that experience needs to be completed without leaving any residue of emotions, and then will be the time to prepare for a new venture.

As humans, we rarely complete a relationship properly; often we hope that one day it might work out. Personally, I believe that once an experience is not working in the first place, it will not work later. Unless BOTH, and I really mean BOTH parties are ready to give up their differences, our old patterns from that relationship, along with the help of our sub-conscious, will bring the same familiar events back into our life. Remember, even if we meet our soul mate, unless both soul mates are ready for each other, the relationship will never work.

It’s important that we learn to cut our emotions after every experience in order to make proper room for the next one.

Once we leave a relationship, we cannot expect the new one to be the same. This just does not make sense! Things eventually evolve if you properly cut your emotional links with the previous relationship, and you accept change into your life. In reality our soul will never allow us to go backward in our life except when our human mind decides we want to stick around and have the same type of relationship again. Then we are falling back into our old pattern. Look at your relationships and see if there is a pattern that you keep running into, then accept this and, without any blame to yourself or the other people involved, just feel blessed about what you learned and accomplished and wish the best for all people involved – because what goes around comes around, multiplied!
How do we define our relationships? A relationship is a two way street. Why would we decide to go into a relationship if we are NOT ready to walk down a new street? If we need a relationship just for the sake of feeling safe and secure about ourselves then we are in for a long haul.

A two way street type of relationship, in my definition, is when both partners involved accept each other for the way they are and not the way they want the other person to be. In many cases, we look to the exterior values, being physical or of a material nature. How do they look? What car are they driving? What do they do in life? These values exist only at the surface level. These traits eventually lose all relevance and eventually fade.

Accepting your partner requires an amount of responsibility from your part in numerous ways. And we must not, under any circumstance, allow ourselves to become a doormat for the other person. We should treat each other with respect, from a deeper level as equal, and learn to listen, enabling the development of a strong foundation, crucial in the building of a solid relationship. We need to understand their soul.

I only ask you to be honest with yourself. Identify your previous partners and see what exactly attracted you to that person initially. It might surprise you to see that we always look for what is acceptable on the exterior, disregarding what values exist internally.

There are many principles with regard to relationships and it would be to your benefit if you were to apply some careful thought and consideration to what motivates you to become involved in the relationships you do. Consider what, in reality, you really want as a human being. After establishing this, in your own right, you will be able to identify these qualities within another person and then you are more likely to be successful in finding the right partner for you.

A relationship is based on three things:
First is to be able to associate socially on some common ground and enjoy being together.
Second is to be able to communicate well and express our emotions in a healthy way.
Third is to be connected with your soul partner and allow your partner to get to know you better by opening up on a deeper level.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi
http://www.freespiritcentre.info

About the Author:

Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.
At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info. A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.
Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

About the Author:

Joseph Ghabi is an author, lecturer, and healer. Joseph provides Intuitive Numerology Consultation, Healing Childhood Experiences Consultation and PhD Candidate living in Montreal Canada.

At the age of eight Joseph discovered his clairvoyance. Joseph is natural medium. Joseph started the ‘Free Spirit Centre’ website at http://www.freespiritcentre.info . A community centre devoted to personal growth, self help, soul growth, eating disorders, relationships, healing and human issues. You can find over 800 articles on the site.

Joseph task is in bringing Souls back to realization of their own personal power and into alignment with their own soul purpose and path of evolution.

2006-11-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

The 7 Unfailing Laws of Successful Relationships

by: Dr Brenda Shoshanna

Copyright 2005 Brenda Shoshanna

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all.

To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes.

Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are.

Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.

Law # 2 Know Who You Are And What You Really Want

Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it.

Law #3 Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You

Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.

Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication

Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.

Law #5 Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person Let everyone be who they are, including yourself.

So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.

Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love.

Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy. Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in return.

Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself.

What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.

Law #7 1/2- The Master Law When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue

Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.

2006-11-11T10:41:00.001-08:00

The Truth About Finding Your True Love And How You Can Fulfill Your Dream Of Living Happily Ever Aft

by: Cucan Pemo Publishing

“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to
be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on
television and at the movies, this seems like a reality.
However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and
hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth
here.

Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above
“love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon
reality.

If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you
find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this
in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and
attraction.

Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people
live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can
look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy
feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups
and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect,
problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t
exist.

If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't
exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the
couples will want to run away!

So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and
blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the
relationship of his or her dreams?

You bet!

The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge
and instructions on how to create your soul-based
relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if
you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and
learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially
how you can draw in your soul mate!

It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-
term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it
certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term
relationships. Many people grow together over time.

Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of
relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques
that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no
particular order, are:

- Understand your-self.
Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be
surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come
to understand or even realize why they are the way they are!
And why is this important? It determines how you look at the
world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your
life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how
to react to YOU!

- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing
rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask
questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour
age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and
unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and
share positive feedback.

- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts
without too much friction
How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside
pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your
relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you
feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain
things with the other party involved, that will help, too.
In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with
others as you would want them to deal with you.

Once true love is found, people live happily ever after.
Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect,
problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live
happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you
will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and
learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.

Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to
draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.

About The Author:

Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.Retrievealover.com/home.htm
Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm

2006-11-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

by: Robert Najemy

GAINING CLARITY ON RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

Robert Elias Najemy

>From our Conscious Love Relationships Program at:

http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/relationships/index.asp

We suggest that you use this questionnaire to gain greater clarity
before answering the basic questionnaire.

A. have you had previous relationships: If yes:

1. Are there specific types of partners that you attract or are attracted
to?

2. Is there a certain type of partner towards which you feel aversion?

3. Were you happy in these relationships?

4. In general did you leave the relationship or did the other?

5. What do you believe were the factors that played a role in these
relationships not working out?

6. Did you play a role in their not working out? If so what was your
contribution?

7. Do you notice any patterns in your relationship situations and
interactions?
If so which?

8. What lessons might you be able to learn from these previous
relationships?

9. Were there also very pleasant and positive moments in those
relationships? If so, which?

B. Your parental prototypes:

1. How would you describe the your parental prototypes:
a. Your Mother
b. Your Father
c. The relationship between them – the ways in which they interacted and
communicated – or did not.
d. Your own relationship with you mother
e. Your own relationship with your father.

2. Were there behavioral similarities between any of your previous partners
and one or more of your parents. If yes,
A. Which were they?
B. What might you need to learn by having «chosen – as a soul» to have a
number of close persons with similar behaviors?
C. What do you want to learn or do in relationship to that?

C. Is there a difference between what society and / or your parents want for
you and what you want from a relationship? What do you want to do about
that?

D. What is important for you to have in your relationship.
(Have in mind that you might be able to have all of these, and maybe not.
You might have to choose or sacrifice.)
__1. To have a relationship at any cost. To have a partner, children,
family?
__2. To be in love with someone?
__3. To be loved by someone?
__4. To be able to share feelings and thoughts with someone?
__5. To have a lively and interesting interaction with someone?
__6. To be socially accepted because you are married?
___7. To have a relationship so as to be able to have children?
___8. To have a relationship in order to feel worthy to others.
___9. To have a relationship in order to feel safe and secure?
___10.To have a relationship so that there will be someone at home with me –
especially in the evenings.
Other needs that you hope to have satisfied through a relationship.
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

E. Have you noticed that you might have certain doubts, concerns or fears
about creating a committed personal relationship. If so why? Consider the
following possibilities.

1. We might fear intimacy because we fear:
a. Being abandoned
b. Being suppressed
c. Being hurt
d. Rejection
e. That we will not be able to be ourselves
f. If they know us deeper, they will not will not want to be with us.
2. We might feel vulnerable and afraid of being hurt if we are open and
loving and prefer to keep an emotional distance.
3. We do not want to give the other the idea that he or she can do whatever
he or she likes with us.
4. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize
their mistakes.
5. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed
with us.
6. We want to place the blame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our
lives on someone else who is "responsible".
7. We falsely believe that love requires that we must let this person do
whatever he or she wants – regardless of ethics or justice – and that this
would be totally unacceptable.
8. We have identified with the role of the victim and need to feel hurt and
abused.
9. We are in the role of the interrogator and need to find others’ faults.
10. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be
an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected.
11. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us.
12. We have been seriously hurt by this person and cannot overcome this
bitterness.

If you have been affected by these or other obstacles what can you do to get
free?

F. Do you feel unhappy alone?
For a few days?
For a long time?
If so, what obstructs you from being happy even when you are alone?

1. Are you afraid when alone?
2. Do you feel less worthy when alone?
3. Are you bored when alone?
4. Do you not know what to do with your time?
5. Do you feel that there is no meaning to life, when you are alone?
5. Do you feel badly because the others are in relationships and you are
not?
6. What emotions do you have when you think:
a. That you do not have a relationship at this moment?
b. That you have not had a relationship for some time?
c. That your previous relationships have not worked out?
d. That some others have relationships and you do not?

7. What do you want or need to do in order to feel better alone until you
meet the right person?

8. What do you believe will change in your life if you have a love partner?
What will you have that you do not have now?
-----------------------article ends-----------------------

******************************************
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained
over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on
Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks,
guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology
are available at http://www.amazon.com

2006-11-11T10:36:00.001-08:00

Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!

by: Justin C Luyt

Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!
Copyright © 2005 Justin C. Luyt
The Spirit of Romance
http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend
or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says
relationship author Justin Luyt.

"We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have
the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp
for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know
the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have
those answers."

Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers
readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive
planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and
behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner
source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside
themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others.

"We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt
says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit
challenges us to grow and learn."

He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit,
people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand.

"When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not
guidance," he summarizes.

Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective
relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to
see others in their true light, as people filled with desires,
dreams and vulnerabilities.

Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as
the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire
people too look within their core being to experience something
they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of
Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when
people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from
within.

When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within
their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and
vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people
the ability to become their own relationship advisors because
they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts.

Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth
occurs in a space of love, not fear."

Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South
African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching
Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for
singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his
trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching.
His book, The Spirit of Romance, is available at:
http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com

2006-11-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

To Be Loved As To Love

by: Amy Biddle

Ernie Larson, author of "Stage II Recovery" and other works, uses a wonderful metaphor for relationships. If you picture yourself as a telephone pole, he says, and the other person as a telephone pole, you can see your relationship as the line strung between you. You can't hold up both ends by yourself.

I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work.

If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself.

For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living.

The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places.

The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place.

The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice.

Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine!
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life.

Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.

2006-11-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship!

by: Cucan Pemo Publishing

If you are in a relationship right now, or are thinking of
going into one, there are 3 very important tips you should
know and questions you should ask yourself before you ever
get yourself into a relationship. This could save you from a
lot of heartache and pain when you are involved in a love
relationship.

(1) Your lover does not owe you your happiness, peace or
joy.
Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of your
happiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you and
they do not come from outside of you, or from others. Before
you go into any type of relationship, ask yourself these
questions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walk
away from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to find
the person that I am now even after I go into this
relationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, you
should not be dependent on your partner on your emotional
needs. You yourself are responsible for your own feelings
and creating positive experiences for both your partner and
you whenever you are together.

(2) Love your partner for who they are.
No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find your
partner doing certain things or saying certain things that
will hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you go
into any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself:
"Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I am
unhappy or angry with something they have said or done, will
I be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as against
their speech, actions and behavior, and not against their
persons?"

(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love my
partner?
If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give love
to another? This is a mistake most people make when they go
into a relationship. They become over-obsessive with what
they can give to their partners and what they can do for
their partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, you
have to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A true
partner or lover is one who will make sure that you do not
become too dependent on them. You are responsible for your
own feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are a
beautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself,
treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and do
the same to your partner. Very soon you will find true love
always coming your way without any effort on your part!

As always, if you are encountering problems in your
relationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love.
And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful and
fulfilling relationship!
.......................................
Get FREE Special Report "Tired
of Failing And Heart Breaking Relationships? The Mystery of
Possessing The Relationship Of Your Dreams...SOLVED!" (Value
$17.95) MP3 Training Program by Dr Robby Bilton (Value $37)
at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com

About The Author:

Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional
Relationship Ebooks at
href="http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm">http://www
.RetrieveALover.com Discover the best and most effective
strategies to finding a true love, keeping a true love or
even bringing back a lost lover or spouse! She now writes regularly
on finding and attracting true love, and family related issues.

2006-11-11T10:32:00.001-08:00

How to Decide Whether to Keep Your Marriage or Other Relationship Going or to End It

by: Terry Mansfield

How to Decide Whether to Keep Your Marriage or Other Relationship
Going or to End It
by Terry Mansfield

In their top-selling book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?"
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins offer expert advice
to help you decide how to know WHEN or IF it's time to break up,
leave your relationship or get a divorce.

Theirs is an "action book" provided in traditional print form or
in a downloadable e-book version that is "filled with hundreds of
questions, stories and insights that will help you consciously
determine whether to stay in your present relationship or to move
on."

Relationship Experts Susie and Otto assert that their book "will
take you through a powerful process of discovery about yourself,
your partner and your relationship" and that "by going through
this process, the decision about what's best for you actually
reveals itself to you."

Webster's Dictionary defines a relationship as "a romantic or
passionate attachment." If you're in one, you might think that
you've found heaven on earth. Or maybe something that's not quite
so grand, just OK or so-so. Or possibly something far worse if
your relationship is starting to seem more like hell on earth
than heaven. In fact, things may seem so bad to you that you've
started thinking seriously about leaving a relationship. And if
you're married this could mean getting a divorce. Many of us have
found ourselves in a similar situation and have suffered great
anguish while trying to decide what to do -- stay in a
relationship or leave it.

Well, the husband and wife Relationship Coach team of Susie and
Otto Collins, who are also top-selling authors, are urging that
before you take the next, maybe fateful step regarding your
relationship, that you stop long enough to learn how to make the
best possible decision about whether to stay or go. Susie and
Otto say that while they have a great relationship with one
another now, that wasn't always the case. But they want you to
basically 'go to school on them' by learning from and benefiting
from the relationship journey they made together. While there
most certainly have been others who have overcome the low points
in a relationship and made what eventually became a successful
journey together, not many of them have been able to recount it
in writing in such clear and compelling fashion as have Susie
and Otto Collins in their top-selling book "Should You Stay or
Should You Go?" They claim their book will:

-- Help you know whether you really want to stay in this
relationship or move on

-- Help you discover what you really want in a relationship and
whether you'll be able to have it in this relationship

-- Help you identify the real issues going on in this relationship
(they may not be what you think)

-- Help you understand the communication challenges going on
between the two of you

-- Show you how the way money is handled in your relationship may
be causing major problems without you even knowing it

-- Tell you what to do if there's physical, emotional or sexual
abuse going on in this relationship

-- Give you a new way of thinking about how addictions affect
your relationship

-- Help you identify how patterns from your past may be
unconsciously ruining your relationship right before your eyes

Of course you'll have to judge for yourself the value of the
information presented by Susie and Otto Collins, and whether
their book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" truly can help you
make important decisions about your relationship. But since so
much may be at stake, and an awful lot can be riding on you
making a proper decision, it might very well be worth a few
minutes of your time to check things out further. If you'd like
more information about the book "Should You Stay or Should You
Go," you can find it at:

http://www.firstworld.biz/external73.html.

Copyright © 2005 Terry Mansfield

About Terry: Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.

Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.

2006-11-11T10:31:00.001-08:00

7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship

by: Cecil McIntosh

7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship by Cecil McIntosh

In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.

Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.

Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner

Reality Check 1

You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.

Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.

Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner

Reality Check 2

You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.

You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.

Myth 3

I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.

Reality Check 3

Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.

Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.

When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.

Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour

Reality Check 4

You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.

Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.

You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.

Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship

Reality Check 5

In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.

Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.

Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.

Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling

Reality Check 6

It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.

If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.

Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship

Reality Check 7

As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.

These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.

When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.

In summary:

1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.

2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.

3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.

4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.

5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.

6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.

7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.

About The Author:

Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now:Relaxation tools and Tips

2006-11-11T10:29:00.001-08:00

"Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success"

by: John Neyman Jr

“Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success” Copyright 2005 John Neyman Jr

The Hungry

In May of 2005 there were over 2 million searches made on
the internet in reference to relationships. Over 49,000 searches have taken place on the net in one month for relationship advice. Almost 4000 of them were searching for help with a healthy relationship.

Over 38,000 were looking for a relationship on line because they were not getting it in their realm of life. This is all in one month. I could go on with the list.

The point is when over 2 million people search in one
month's time for relationships we know that most people are
not finding the fulfillment in their present relationships.

This unhappiness in relationships will definitely carry
over on the job. If you are responsible for others in a
home business or at the office, it is to your advantage to provide a means for them to learn how to develop healthy Relationships. If people are unfulfilled and unhappy that carries over in the quality of their work.

Getting the most for your money and time will include
providing an environment for everyone to learn
relationships skills. Relationship skills just happens to
be a life skill that you take every where you go, whether
it be at the office or home. Therefore, you are doing
everyone a favor when you provide relationship training to
your down line.

The Satisfied

There are 3 areas that satisfy the longing for meaningful relationships. Those who are healthy and fulfilled are those who have been enjoying relationships in all 3 areas.

The first is you. This is not some kind of psycho-babble
talk, this is a plain fact. If you have insecurities,
fears, deep imbedded scars that you have deliberately
buried you are not being honest with who you are. Further,
no matter what your back ground is you have one of the 4 personality types, a home based language, and a personal language that enables you to receive love your way.

If you do not know these basic human concepts you really
don't even understand who you are, let alone others. Most people do not know their home based language, nor their “love language.” A larger margin of folks will know about the 4 personality types, but many of them will admit that they don’t which one is their type.

The second is others. Success demands building
relationships that are strong, vibrant, healthy, and
fulfilling with others. Granted not every relationship will take on the same meaning, but healthy relationships have a sparkle about them, regardless if it is on the professional level or personal.

The “Right Knowledge” enhances your personal growth and provides lasting relationships! Having a healthy relationship is not easy, but it is worth the effort. There is a very unique principle to follow in order to find meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

The Ancient writers new of the principle, but for the last couple of generations, at least, it seems that this principle was buried and forgotten. However, it is being uncovered and taught once again. This wisdom is bringing joy back into lives many.

The third is God. You are designed to have a relationship
with God. This is your personal responsibility. Many
neglect this relationship or leave it up to others to
develop for them, which is absurd. Others can not develop a relationship with God for you. You must pursue this as any other relationship.

The Results

An atmosphere were people are having healthy relationships
and are growing will, perhaps, exceed all expectations in regards to the joy and productivity of the staff or family members.

You just can not imagine the inner peace and security that
is derived from vibrant relationships.

Is it possible to develop such relationships? Yes, if you
know what principles to follow. If you learn how to use the principles, certainly it is possible. Just ask someone who is no longer hungry. She will tell you that you can be satisfied.

Besides it is a must for true success!

----------------------------------------------------
Dr. John Neyman has been teaching every week for the last
21 years. He is the Founder of www.relationshipexcel.com
Dr. John writes weekly for his local newspaper and weekly
tips for healthy relationships. Email him at: john@leaderssuccess.com Or if you have a particular question you can ask it at: www.askdoctorjohn.com

Dr. John Neyman has been teaching every week for the last
21 years. He is the Founder of www.relationshipexcel.com
Dr. John writes weekly for his local newspaper and weekly
tips for healthy relationships. Email him at: john@leaderssuccess.com Or if you have a particular question you can ask it at: www.askdoctorjohn.com

2006-11-11T10:29:00.000-08:00

"Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success"

by: John Neyman Jr